Not Fab: Cicadas are coming back! NOOOOOO!

No, I'm not lying... the 17-year cycle cicadas are unearthing on the East Coast this summer. I'm so not a fan of these little suckers...so not fab.

And in honor of their return to the DMV, here's a little short story I wrote years ago (I used to keep a diary) about my cicada encounter four years ago when the 13-year cycle suckers were in town:

(Photo Credit: Ron Edmonds/AP)

Cicada Madness

June 03, 2004 1:54 p.m.

So yesterday I felt like I was being attacked by cicadas. I'm ALWAYS attacked. From coming out of the nail shop and having one of those ugly things attach itself to my butt, to one flying in my car at the Nextel store and having some random old man get it out for me...then there was yesterday the pinaccle (hopefully) of DISGUSTING cicada encounters...I was coming out of the hairdresser and got in my car. I have this little door handle, which also doubles as a change holder or whatever you want it to be, so I use that to close my car door... when I felt a CICADA! I coulda' died.

I rushed opened the door hoping it would fly out, but no the little sucka just stayed there. So I was freaking out trying to find something in my car to flick it out with. I flicked it out with a pen and it stuck to the pen so that freaked me out and I just dropped the pen.

I close the door again and THERE WAS ANOTHER ONE IN THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So again I opened the door and found something to flick it out with. That one was dead. EW! I had a dead cicada in my car door. UGHHHH! Lord have mercy.

Angie saw me freaking out in the McDonalds parking lot and was laughing at me. She told me to get my crazy self in the car. I ain't even want to get in my car...I just knew I'd have one on my back and it would crawl around my car and make itself comfortable. I was going crazy.